Ramblings of my goings-on

One of my older sisters invited me to grab some coffee and go for a walk so we could catch up last week. Our schedules haven't aligned much lately and now that we don't have our Thursday coffee dates I jumped at the chance despite having a french press already steeping on my counter. I opened up to her about the recent improvements I was making when it came to running. One of the things I love most about her is she can see things in ways I cannot.

"It's probably because you are no longer struggling day-to-day like you were a year ago. Now instead of going for a run as an vital part of destressing, you get to choose to run just for fun."

Although I have long realized how much running has been a huge source of therapy throughout my divorce and although I constantly tell people "I run for fun," I never put those pieces together with my running improvement. I started adding up different elements in my life that suddenly were making sense to the bigger picture. Not too long ago my younger sister talked me into a certain activity that shall go unnamed. I was actually excited about something other than running for a change! After roughly a month there was an ultimatum that I inadvertently prompted. If I wanted the fun to continue, I needed to devote a significant chunk of my babysitting resources for the next 4-5 months. If you are a single parent, you know full well how desperately essential it is to your social life to not to tax out your babysitting resources. Unfortunately, but not regrettably, I balked.

And not too long after I had this run.

Let me explain this to all of those who don't know me. This was huge!!!! Every single marathon I have run has involved some sort of walking break. The longest I can recall running without a walking break is 14, maybe 16 miles. I've never been strong after 15 so to run that far with no walk break was unseen by me before. I felt I could have gone much longer too had it not been I had a limited time to run before picking up my daughter. The second component to note of this run was that it was at a sub-9:00 pace. This is not a pace I am familiar with maintaining beyond 8 miles. Add these two together with no GI issues, minimal muscle soreness, and no post-run headache and you've got yourself a breakthrough.

I've spent a long time analyzing changes that have happened (beyond my sister's) so I could keep on course. The two main changes I can attribute are (1) consistently training and (2) nutrition.

Consistency 

I completely changed my data entry business so that I can have two guaranteed solo quality runs a week. If I was going to get faster I simply had to have some non-stroller runs. No doubt stroller running has made me stronger, especially now that my girl is approximately 30 pounds, but if I was serious about going after a marathon PR I needed to commit. I'm paying dearly for that commitment but I'm very fortunate for the job I have which allows me the income for it. My daughter fully enjoying the socialization at daycare is an added bonus. I've had days where she cries, kicks and screams when it's time to go home which is the surest sign of the right daycare for your child, or so I've been told. Dependable child care is something I did not have for the first 1.5 years of my daughter's life, and it has made a world of difference, for both of us.

Nutrition

A couple of months ago I decided it was time for a diet tweaking and went with the following changes.

Maca powder: For women's health reasons and reported energy boosts. I found it disgusting to smell and almost non-consumable at first. Its unique flavor profile overpowered anything I tried adding it to but with consistent use the flavor has since become undetectable and the smell no longer repulsing. Makes you want to try it, right? I use it in my daily afternoon smoothie.

Hemp protein powder: For protein (obviously!). Initially I started using this as a partial flour substitute in baked goods but now use it in my daily afternoon smoothie. This has been a marvelous addition since dairy/whey protein and egg protein disagree with me.

Local honey: For allergies and immunity boost. This isn't a new addition but I now take it daily instead of when I think I'm coming down with something. For the first time in years I have not suffered Spring allergies (knock on wood).

Lentils: For digestive health and protein. I am still a flexitarian and don't plan on giving up red meat as pescetarians do. What can I say? I crave beef after a long run. Long ago I swapped ground turkey for ground beef. Now I'm swapping out ground turkey for lentils. By far my favorite swap out as been for tacos but this soup sealed the deal for consuming lentils on a regular basis.

This past Sunday I decided on some more tweaking. I'm now going to attempt adding lucuma powder, carob powder, and mulberries. Eliminating all sources of carrageenan is taking a top priority which will start with committing to making 100% of the nut milk we consume.

The latest recipes that really trip my trigger: Cool-aid, chickpea blondies, and baked cinnamon apples (using coconut butter and serving like a cereal with nut milk).

Pin It

Not just another run

My run today gave me the most unanticipated cathartic relief. I had been harboring something in me that needed to come out and it did so with gusto.

This morning I awoke with the most intense ultra fever and am not sure why I caught it. My goal for the year is to become a faster runner. I thought that's what I wanted. So how come when it comes time for me to "push" myself out on a run all I do is dread the lack of air in my lungs and pit in my stomach and stop trying? Why do I long for the burn in my legs that only distance running gives me? Why am I constantly daydreaming of mountains and single-tracks? Why was I looking up local ultramarathons instead of flat marathons? What brought me to the point of almost signing up for a 50 this morning?

Instead of forcing myself to answer the yet unanswerable, I went out for my Monday run which was to be about 8 miles. My mind was spinning trying to figure out what truly were my current running goals versus perhaps romanticized bucket-list items. Halfway into the run I abandoned the route and went wherever I felt the urge to go. I was on the verge of figuring it all out and I needed time to think.

It was starting to get close to the time I needed to pickup my daughter at daycare so I reluctantly ended the run. Upon checking my watch I was stunned to see I had been running for 1 hour and 59 minutes. It felt like it had only been an hour. Upon checking the mileage I was even more stunned to see I ran 13.1 miles by the time I stopped. Never before have I held that comfortable of a pace for a half and finished in under 2 hours.

I wanted to quick write about what I was thinking about during this run before they were gone but the words wouldn't come out. Frustrated I went on Facebook to vent.

Me: Writer's block, snarf...

Molly: Break thru the wall :)

Me: Maybe tonight lol there's too much fog in my head after today's run. At first I can see what I want to write and then it get's completely cloudy again only to be revealed for a few more seconds. I can't get enough clarity to grasp the thoughts long enough to write! Not sure if that makes any sense.

Molly: Totally makes sense. I've done both strategies: take a break and come back later; and just start writing, even if it's sh!t at first and as I work, finally the idea gets out (then go back and delete all the stuff I wrote first lol). Either way, you will break through, I know it :)

Me: I'm always "writing" when I'm out running. My thoughts are so "in the moment" that I'm always afraid if I don't jot them down they'll be lost forever. Today I figured out what I wanted after being hit behind my ultra fever but I'm totally failing to form the answer in a concrete way. Perhaps I'm struggling with the abstractness of it. My running goals aren't tangible. It's not a medal I want to touch. It's something undefinable at the moment.

Molly: That sounds like a "write write write" and it will eventually come out thing to me :) Take a break and then make yourself write, even if it's not coming out as what you want to say, start somewhere and it will eventually come out. You'll find a way to represent the abstract idea :) Or - this could work too! - wait til your next run and run with paper/pen tucked in a backpack? Or voice recorder on your phone? ;)

Reading back on that an hour later I'm not even in sure what I was trying to say and I see an obvious conflict in my own words. Let's just leave it that I was lost in thought. What followed immediately after the chat with Molly wasn't pretty. I was driving to daycare and kept going over what I had thought about during the run. It stung through me like I had been struck by lightening. I identified my goal. I called Molly up in tears. Why the hell I was crying I don't know. I got emotional over it, what can I say? I'll always be a chick in that aspect no matter what. I've built this wall up around me this past year but sometimes it crumbles. I'm human.

Somewhere between the tears I got what I needed to off my chest and the tears stopped. In turn Molly reassured me that this was why Über Mother Runner was created. I definitely should write about it. 

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” 

― Nelson Mandela

Pin It